Smiles

There comes a time when everything you believed you wanted or liked, you realize you don't.
I don't want to be out partying and drinking every night. I don't want to meet a fitter guy than the last one I pulled. I don't want to be better or one up other people. Most of all I don't want to be somebody else anymore.
I want to be me with everybody, everybody I actually like and want to be with. Why must we all put on a front, pretend to be friends with people we don't actually want to be friends with? Why must we feel accepted for somebody we're not?
I'm not doing this anymore. It bores me. I want converstion. I want to really laugh. I want to know real people.
I'd much rather snuggle up and watch telly than go out. I'd much rather drink lemonade with slices of fresh orange. I want to be me with my friends. They all know who they are. Who they really are. The ones who stand by me no matter what. The ones I laugh with and properly laugh. The ones I can wake up next to and have a chat to about... wombats. The ones who no matter what I will be there for, where there is never awkwardness no matter the situation, those incredible people I smile with, genuinely smile. I am me with them, I don't want to be anybody else anymore. Now I'm smiling cause this is the start of myself with the real people. The real friends. Thanks you special people for helping me realize. Thankyou so much. with